he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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