did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
