I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
