that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
