How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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