I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
