he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
