I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
