Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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