I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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