tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she smelled like a LAN party
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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