Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
