My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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