You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize