My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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