he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
