Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
