Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
