I seem to have left my pride at pride
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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