Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
