it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
