He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
