I forgot how hot balto sounded
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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