do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
