I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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