i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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