I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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