Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
