Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
