first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
