I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
