Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize