He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So much Jack, so little girl.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
