got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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