She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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