if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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