The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Send help, water and tortillas.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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