It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
