we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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