i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
