my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
