i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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