Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
