i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
then he tried to convert me to islam
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
