even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
