Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
