I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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