Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
