Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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