her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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