she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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