We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
