On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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