I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
