Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
