Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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