you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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