why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize