sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
